Tuesday, 14 July 2009

Monday thoughts

Monday was a good day, eating and exercise wise.

Emotionally it was rather different, I wanted to hug my daughter, tell her how brave and wonderful she is. But I couldn't, all I could do was send text and Facebook messages. It's not nearly as good as touching her and holding her in my arms.

She is not ill or anything like that, thank God, but she had to do something last night that took a brave heart, a steady hand and a strength of emotion I know I would not have.

You see, she is an embalmer, she deals with the last details of the mortal body before the final ceremonies of life. She loves her job and finds it an honour to perform these duties.

Last night she had the honour of preparing the child of a dear friend for her final journey. She was asked when they knew the little girl did not have any more chances. So my daughter thought she had time to prepare herself, but then the time came and all the mental and emotional preparation did not matter. She thought of the child's parents and family and went and did her best for them.

I wanted to hold my daughter and tell her what a wonderful woman she is and how proud I am of her. But I have not seen my daughter for nine months, one week and four days. She lives less than half a mile away and it breaks my heart every day.

She is not speaking to me because my darling husband and I eloped to Gretna to get wed. She is hurt because I didn't tell her what we we doing. We didn't tell anyone what we were doing, but I understand her hurt, we did have a special relationship and I miss that so much.

I do not regret how we got married, I do not regret treating everyone the same but I so regret not having my darling daughters friendship. I know she still loves me, hopefully I will get to hug her again. My heart would stop right now if I thought otherwise.


Fat[free]Me said...

Wow, that must have been hard for her - yes she is one brave lady.

That toughness also has some stubborness with it, but if she has inherited your heart of gold, she will come round eventually!

Keep the door wide open!


Sean Anderson said...

Your attitude and heart is in the right place. I agree, keep that door open and she will see your heart.
It would be so nice if she read your blog, she would be so proud of you. I know I am.

blessings and best wishes,