I have not been sleeping well lately and I am am up all hours of the night and my thoughts get to go all over the place. Last night I was thinking and feeling "Why Me?"
Why does Ralph sleep like a baby from the moment he says goodnight?
Why do I get all sleepy whilst reading, but as soon as I put the book away..PING..I am wide awake.
Then I read a post on Facebook and it really made me sit up and consider "Why Not Me?" Okay we as a family have had a couple of rough years, but we are all still here. There are people who are struggling and holding on to loved ones knowing they will not be with them for much longer. But these people are so positive and loving and caring of other folk.
If you are on Facebook, look at "Claudia's Cause"
I learnt a lesson there and then and will from now on try to be positive and giving. Small baby steps to begin with...
“If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” - Dr Wayne Dyer
Future plans, thats what I said I would write about wasn't it? Well where do I begin. I was due to retire at the end of this month, but I chicken'd out. Several reasons but mainly because if left in my own company too long I go into that deep dark place called depression and I don't want to go there again. I will think about retirement again the year before Ralph is due to do so 2016 for him, so I have two years as long as I have my health and strength and sanity (working for the NHS does things to your sanity).
My eldest daughter is moving back to Runcorn by the end of August. She has been a RAF wife for 22 years. Her husband comes out next February but they want to get settled before the academic year begins in September. So it will be great to have all four of my children and their families all living within a seven mile radius.
Ralph and I have strated a two year plan for refurbishing and redecorating "The Shoebox" and some of the decorating will begin next week. The living room is the first to be stripped, papered and painted. I will have to take some before and after photo's to record Ralph's progress...I just make the coffee.
Six weeks and four days from now I will be flying out to New York, New York with my bestest friend in the whole wide world Trish. We have been wanting to do this trip for a long time and now it is nearly here. I ordered a new suitcase especially for the trip last week and it arrived today. It is so light I can pick it up with my little finger. It is in my favourite colour too, PURPLE, it makes me smile to look at it.
We are looking forward to meeting up with the lovely Buttercup, Trish can't wait to meet her. I had the pleasure three years ago, and I am really looking forward to some more "Buttercup Time".
Just a quick update from where I left thing hanging a few months ago.
Ralph's throat/breathing problems turned out out to be a gastric problem He is now on medication for it. We were very puzzled as to how gasping for breath and choking on your words were to do with stomach, but the meds work so we are very happy.
Ralph has had a further eye operation which was very successful, his consultant has not ruled out further surgery, we we find out in October, we believe the power of prayer has played a big part in the management and recovery of this eye problem and we thank everyone who has kept us in their prayers.
Conor is home from Afghanistan and having a tough time coping with the after effects of six months in a war zone. Suffice to say, I am very glad he is on home ground, but I don't think he is in a safe place as yet.
My son in law Mike has been discharged from hospital care with a clean bill of health after is brain hemorrhage last year and we celebrated his 41st birthday two weeks ago.
Both Clair and I have been this week for our skin cancer checks, I go back in six months and Clair, three months. So all is good there.
So again the power of prayer and the support of family and friends have carried my family through and I am now hoping for a positively positive future for all of us.
I am back and hoping to go back to what I started blogging for. Some support in getting a healthy lifestyle. I have been living in the doldrums this past few months and it is time to start sailing out of them. So I need to get into full sail and gather myself together and start over again... Yes Again!!!
We have had so much snow over the past three days and it is still falling. A White Easter is on the cards for sure.
My 100 Day Plan is moving along steady, no big things happening, but slowly improving my lifestyle and trekking things here and there for healthy options. My weight is very slowly coming off, my decluttering is continuing at a snails pace, but it is a work in progress.
My grandson Conor was injured on duty in Afghanistan, he sustained four broken ribs and is in the med centre at Camp Bastion. He will remain there until his tour ends in three weeks. We are relieved he is is safe but very sad that two other boys are now double amputee's because of the IED they came across. I believe there is an Angel watching over our boy and pray for his safe arrival back here.
Doting Grandma, Conor and Ralph just before Conor's deployment.
It has been a busy week this week, getting out and about socialising with dear friends, three days running. My man has been laid low with a bout of flu and there is no sign of him starting to recover yet.
Mothers Day here in the UK and I had to go visit my children rather than them come here, we didn't wnt them risking catching flu from Ralph. I now feel like I am in a small florists and there is a lot of chocolate in the shoebox now. I am a spoilt mum today.
Missing my mam today....
I have not done any decluttering this week but hope to double up my efforts in the coming week.
I think I may have given the wrong impression in my previous post. I was not planning on leaving the Internet for 100 days, but to cut down on my usage of it as part of my 100 day plan. This I have done, but not as much as I had hoped for this first week, but things can only get better.
I have got a few things done though. A bit of decluttering, some crafting, a lot of healthier eating. I will get weighed tomorrow to see if it has made any difference to my bulk. I am drinking more, but need to drink even more.
This second week. I want to get out walking again, if the temperature improves that is. It has been ffffffreeeeeezzzzzing here and I am prone to feeling the cold badly due to the meds I am on. Hopefully not for much longer, I see the cardiologist on March 16th.
We are off to my baby daughters this evening, Chef Mike is cooking us up a treat:)
Tomorrow I am starting a hundred day plan. Not my usual diet that will definitely fail plan.
This plan will evolve and grow as time goes by, I am wanting to push or pull myself gently to do things that I have neglected, or things that scare or worry me. It will involve, spirituality, creativity and physical activity. It will also involve not being on the Internet every day. I want to to get back to the pleasures I enjoyed before the world wide web caught me in its trap. So tomorrow I will leave the web alone and begin use my time to improve my all over well being. Reading, walking, listening to music, writing letters (I cannot remember the last time I wrote a letter!)
Thank you for you prayers and thoughts, I am so much more than grateful.
Clair got Great News, the wide excision was clear of cancer! Yes I am smiling broadly today.
She must have check ups every three months for five years, so we know she will have the best of chances of beating Malignant Melanoma
it is onwards and upwards now, I can relax and begin to enjoy this new
year. Everything has been on hold really since November when I took ill
and then a doctor felt a couple of Clair's moles were looking
suspicious.She has since had seven removed and one was malignant.
We are both looking forward to getting on with life and
living to the full. So watch this space.
Prayers and Positive thoughts requested today for my beautiful daughter Clair
as she goes for the results of her wide excision biopsy. Her
appointment is at 3pm so if you can spare 30 seconds your thoughts and
prayers would be greatly appreciated.
This photo was taken two weeks ago when her boy came home for two weeks R&R.
He flew back to Afghanistan in the early hours of this morning.
He will be home safe in 97 days, not that we are counting:)
Thank you for you kind good wishes for Conor, it means such a lot to me, to know you are out there and I can pour my heart out here. I have to be strong when with my family, especially Clair, holding her spirit up. There is no one close apart from my Ralph of course, that I can collapse into their arms and let my fears go. So this is my safe place where I can let it go, pour my words out, words of fear, sadness, hope and joy and every other emotion under the sun. So thank you for letting me ramble, rant, moan and groan.
Now that Conor's R&R has finished, maybe there will be some semblance of normality in our every day life now. There is such a lot happening this year and we have got to start getting organised and sorted. I will be laying the foundations until the end of January (lots of hospital appointments in the next two weeks) then hopefully it will be onward and upward for my family and I.
This is my beautiful boy soldier Conor last night. I love this boy more than life it's self. I have asked The Good Lord to keep him safe in mind, body and soul and to take me instead of him if it comes to it. It is not just his physical well being I pray for it is his mental and spiritual well being that is so important also. He does read his Bible, he keeps my rosary with him and I hope these do give him faith, hope and strength at this time and in the future.
This morning, one of my worst fears came looming at me when I read about a young soldier who survived a Taliban bombing, came home to his parents on live and took his own life at his parents home.
Today I am going round to my daughters to help her with the preparation for tomorrows get together.
My Grandson Conor is home from Afghanistan on two weeks R&R and we are having a family get together so we all get to see him,love him, hug him and then hug him again.
So I am on chef duty this morning before I go to work, we are making Scouse and Pea Wack, traditional Liverpudlian comfort food. Both of these taste better the day after the making.
Here I go again, getting back on track and hoping by the end of 2013 I will be far healthier than I am right now. A heart scare is a great motivator in getting you to look at your lifestyle in every way and I have got lazy and greedy for rubbish. It all ended last night. I have been for a short walk today and I have plans formulating in my head as I write.My word for 2013 is DETERMINATION and it is going to get me to where I need to be.I plan to have fun on this journey, with my food and my exercise. So see you around.