Where Did That Weekend Go?

Last time I looked it was Friday evening and now it is Sunday evening!!

It's been a great weekend but gone so fast.                                                                                           

My Two J's came for a crafting day on Saturday, we were supposed  to  finish of their

Mother's Day gifts but it looks like we will need

a couple of after school sessions. We are part way there
but still some work to do before assembling them.  But we
had loads of fun and lots of giggles and laughter, the best tonic in the world. If I could bottle it, I would be richer than 
The Coca Cola Company. 

Here are a couple of pictures of the girls work space's, not too messy really.  You should see it when I am working on a project....

Today was Ralph's day, he is on his short weekend so as he had to cope with the girls and myself yesterday. I said he could choose what we do today. He suggested Cheshire Oak's Outlet Village....  Yes my husband wanted to go shopping...I love this man!!

We had a very nice time, three hours wondering around the shops, stopping for coffee at Starbucks, have missed that since Borders closed. We bought a few bit's and pieces and I got an early birthday present. I have been looking for a new handbag that would do me for work and for weekends and I found it today.

I saw it, picked it up, stroked it, looked at the price and put it back. My husband asked why, I said it was too expensive and he looked at the price tag and said "I will buy it for you". There then followed a five minute conversation about I have never spent that much on a handbag and had no intention of now or of letting him either.  Guess who won?

I have never had a handbag that came in it's own bag.

It is the beautiful red colour in the blurred photo, the other two look brown, but the light in the bedroom was not very bright when Ralph

 took the other two photo's. After I got twitch about my blurred  photos.  I think my camera is dying.

                                                      

I am not the type of person who talks about money anf the cost of thingsbut I will just say the most expensive bag I have ever bought myself was £39.00.  This bag was more than three times that.  I am still in shock and not sure I can use it for work, but if I don't it defeats the reasons for buying it in the first place.

Ralph has just looked over my shoulder as I am typing and said "It is for everyday use and I am worth it"....I love that man:o)

   

My eating has left a lot to be desired this weekend, but all will be well from tomorrow morning. I'm at the gym every morning starting tomorrow at 8:30 when I have my second session with Lee.  Then it will be 7:30 until Friday.  Friday is a rest day as that is when we are having a family get together for Conor. I have all my meals planned and I am positive I will have a good weight loss this week.

Mood = Great

Food = Will be Better

Today I am Grateful for:

The priveledge of enjoying my hobbies and sharing with my grandchildren.

The knowledge that I have family and very dear friends I can count on.

The generosity of heart and mind and wallet of my darling husband.

                                                                                   

Good Day..... Bad Day..... Good Food...... Bad Food......

It started off a good day, the gym at 6:45am!!
20 minutes treadmill, 20 minutes bike.
Back home, shower, breakfast, work.
Busy morning, remembering to drink water.
Lunchtime, back home, put a wash on,
grab some ham, a pear and a banana.
Oh and a yogurt too.

Back to work for PLT...
Practice Learning Time...
The boss bought cakes:o(
Half half of a chocolate eclair,
Angela had the other.

Back home, get changed, put another wash on.
Check emails and blogs, have a cup of tea.
Put a wash in drier, but another wash on.
Get a text from Clair "Your Tea is Ready!"
"Oop's I'll be there in Five" I text back.
I'm late so drive instead of walk.
I knock on the door "You are Grounded"
I am told, "Sorry" I say...The children laugh.
I am sat down to Pasta and Pizza...
Oh well, can't say no thank you,
this family are on a tight budget
and we don't waste food.
so I enjoyed the pasta and a very small
slice of pizza along with the happy banter of children
around the table.

After the meal, a cup of tea and a white chocolate cookie appear
as I sat on the big sofa that threatens to swallow you.
"You are trying to sabotage me" I say.
"No, I'm not" she says with a mischevious smile.
"You can  to relax tonight"

Because this is the first time I have had a meal
at her house for over 16 months, I did relax and
enjoyed every moment and every morsel.

Good Day Bad Day Good Food Bad Food
Back on track tomorrow....

Mood = Happy
Food  = Happy

Today I am grateful for:

Forgiveness
Reconciliation
Family Hugs

Weigh In Wednesday

Lost the two pound I gained last week...Totally Delighted Thank You Very Much!!!

I must admit I have been an angel with my food this week, so I really do know what I must do to get to target. Hopefully attending the gym every other day will help too.  I have tried to drink the water today, it is sooooooooooo hard!!  I felt like I was drowning ar lunch time. I have had over two litres so by bed time I should have done the three. But If I am up all night piddling I am going to scream!!

I have had a lovely evening with my daughter Clair and two of her children Ollie and Jaz.  They came for tea and we had great fun.  I am so happy things are getting back to normal with Clair and myself.

Mood = Very Happy
Food = Very Delicious

Today I am Grateful for:

Good healthy food on the table and the grandchildren loving it!!
Fun times with grandchildren.
Peace and quiet when grandchildren go home;o)

New Passport Has Arrived and the Gym Was..........

My new passport arrived tonight, so now we can start planning our holidays YIPPPPEEEEEEEEE....
Ralph is on the net as I type looking at Tuscany :o)

Went to the gym tonight and was met by my Personal Trainer  Lee, he was very nice and very apologetic about yesterday. I had a 45 minute consultation with him discussing where I am now and what goals I wish to set. He was quite impressed with my knowledge about food and calories (Didn't tell him I could write the book..lol)

What he did say was I am very dehydrated and I have got to try to drink MORE THAN 3 LITRES of water a day...Heaven Help Me!!  I have been counting my cups of tea and he says no, because the caffeine in the tea caused dehydration.  Has advised me to drink Green Tea, which I have tried and didn't like.

We discussed my back and, I know that strengthing them will help my back. So he is going to design a programme for me and I have a further  appointment with him on Monday morning at 8:30 to start to put it into action.  He got me to set four goals tonight:

1. To attended the gym at least three times a week..
2. To drink 3 litres of water a day.
3. To eat more protein
4. to eat MORE snacks

Yes eat more snacks, I couldn't beleive it, I don't snack in the afternoon, but he advised a snack in the afternoon and at supper..the supper on to me mainly protein. So I need to revise my eating habits. He said small healthy snacks will keep the metabolism burning.  Like keeping a fire ticking over, throwing a small log on every couple of hours.  So I will give it a go.  He also said as you get older the metabolism slows down, so you don't get the big weigh losses you get as a younger person..I  think I already knew that, losing weight like a tortoise...

He then showed me three machines he wanted me to start with tonight, the treadmill, the bike and the cross trainer. I told him I hated the cross trainer, he said I will learn to love it...We shall see..

I then did: 20 minutes on the treadmill, 20 minutes on the bike and 10 minutes on the dreaded cross trainer. all on the Cardio setting. That was very doable and I reckon I can do twice as much comfortably. So the plan is gym Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday this week, the Monday, Wednesday Friday, Sunday the following week.

Husband now looking at Kefalonia....Where next....

Mood = Positive
Food = Being Re-thought.


Today I am Grateful for:

The confidence that took me to the gym on my own!!
The laughter between mother and daughter.
My new passport;o)

Back InThe Groove But Not In The Gym

Yet again I am saying I am back on track, I'm in the groove, I've got my head back on, this is it.....

I have had a very good day with my food, the gym let me down, I had a message on my voice mail to ring the gym at lunchtime. They wanted me to come in earlier, 4pm, I told them I was working until 4:30, so they asked again, could I come in at 4pm?  No I am working...Oh can you come tomorrow at 5:30 then?...So tomorrow it is, I am not impressed neither is Ralph...

We have had a fun night on the Wii though so I have hasd some exercise but not what was planned.

Food = Good...1215 calories
Mood = Good

Today I am thankful for:

Great Craich
The joy of the written word
The love of God.

Snow Sunday

Where does it all come from? I got up at 6:30am to get my final bit's a pieces ready for my trip to see Bezzy Mate and Sam and all the other lovley girls at Sam's Crop. Only to find about 4 inches of SNOW had fallen over night. So guess who is going NOWHERE? Wouldn't mind but had baked an apple cake and a lemon and ricotta cake for the girls...Temptation is now in the kitchen, but soon to be dispatched elsewhere.

So what to do today? I am not happy to do scrapbooking here as I take over the living room and kitchen and Ralph tries not to get frustrated with it but I know he does. So my little trolly and bags of stuff can stay put for the moment.  Ralph is doing homework for his college course, he would rather be walking in Anglesey but lets not go over that shall we?

What I did do this morning was get measured, haven't done that in a long while. But I thought if I am starting the gym tomorrow I would like some baseline number's to work with.  I was very pleasantly surprised to find I had lost another six inches. From bust (Hubby not impressed) waist, hips and tum.  That has given me a bit of a boost.

From tomorrow I will be updating my food blog with every morsel that I eat, also will record  all exercise and activity, in an effort to get this body and mind of mine back in the groove.

Great Advice THANK YOU

Thank you, Julia, Vraz60, Sunny, Friend of the Bear and Dawne, for great advice and encouragement.
I was asking for advice with tongue in cheek, knowing I would get the advice given.  I know it is an impossiblity to reach the 60 x 60 target now.  I now want to lose three stone by my birthday, that is 42 pounds and I have lost  34.5 of them so I think it is very doable.

I got an early birthday present form Ralph today, he has paid for a new gym membership for me and I go for my induction on Monday at 5:30pm.  I was a member of the gym over the way from us last year and was enjoying it until my back seized up in October. Now my back is behaving..shhshhh I was talking about stepping up my exercise this morning and my darling man suggested the gym near where I work. He said he would pay as part of my birthday present and within an hour I was all signed up:o)

It is a great set up with a huge Cardio gym, a separate Ladies Gym, a full floor of weight's and resistance machines and a dance/workout studio. They do Zumba and  I have been wanting to try that for ages, I met a very dear friend there while being shown round the facilities.  She was doing Body Combat and Cardio Pump one hour of each...She is very fit and certainly doesn't look 55.

So I will be stepping up the exercise, I will not be cutting my calories but I will be looking at how I am using them. I have a month of celebrations starting Thursday and will be out every weekend for meals with different groups of friends.  So I am going to have to be VERY GOOD during the week..lol

Again thank you for great advice and cheeky comments...Yes Dawnie..Yours...lol

Time Is Marching On!!!!!!!

First of all can I thank everyone for the very kind supportive comments about my feelings  for Conor and his planned army career.  They meant more to me than you will ever know, I got my husband to read them and he was very touched by the kindness and understanding. Conor went yesterday to swear his
Oath of Alligence and will be entering the army on Sunday March 7th. May God watch over him and every other serviceman serving their country.

Today is four weeks to my 60th and I am in place of not disappointment but a sad bittersweet place. I realised several weeks ago I would not  lose my 60 x 60 and was quite accepting of the fact. Now I am annoyed with myself, I should have been more committed, should have tried harder. I have still got 25.5lb's left to lose.

Now if I was CRAZY enough to think there was still a very slim chance I could still do it, what would YOUR advice be?

Step up the excercise?  (Go for it like the Biggst :Loser)
Cut the calories?           (Drop the calories to 1200 daily)

What would you do?

Mixed Emotions..

I have just heard some news, which at the same time makes me very proud but also very scared. In the last twenty minutes I have gone through the whole gamut of emotions, elation, pride, fear, love, joy,sadness but love is the strongest.

My darling grandson Conor has been accepted to serve in The British Army. I am very proud of him, but I am also very worried for him. He is only 16, a baby who thinks he is a man. In the present political climate and the conflict in Afganistan and Iraq, is it any wonder I am in turmoil?

I am told he will not be sent to the front line until he is 21 to be honest that is not much of a comfort.

Don't get me wrong, I am proud of my  Queen and country and I am very patriotic. I have a family history of service to Queen and country, but the thought of my little Con in the army just turns me to jelly.

I love this boy so very much, he has brought such joy into our lives over the past 16 years.

I pray to God he keeps him safe, now and for always.

A Very Proud Grandma.

Weigh In Wednesday...Well You Did Have A Fab Time She........

I knew I couldn't get away with it could I?
A TWO pounds gain!!
No excuses.
We had FUN.
Back at work today so back to NORMAL

Monday With My Man

I am having a couple of days off to spend with Ralph , so we have had an extended Valentine Weekend.
To say it has been wonderful is an understatement, we have had a great time doing not much..

On the healthy eating front I have been good 85% of the time which I think is great. I doubt if I will have a weight loss on Wednesday but do you know something?  It's not a problem. I am feeling good, I am looking good, so I am told, not just by Ralph but a fair few friends over the past couple of weeks have complimented me on how I am looking, so it can't be bad can it?

The sleeping problem is getting a little better Shhhhh... I am not tempting fate.
I'm walking much better than in a long long time.  Not struggling at all.

I am getting great idea's for crafting, journalling and scrapbooking and that hasn't happened in a long time.
So everything is on the up and I am feeling very confident.

60 x 60 is not going to happen, but if I keep on going they way I have for the past few weeks I am going to be feeling pretty good on my 60th birthday.  It was Chinese New Year yesterday, it is now the year of the Tiger and guess what I am? Yip I'm a Tiger and the signs are all postive for the year. In fact I have been told to make plans for the next 12 YEARS not just 12 months...so I have started... So much to do, so much to see, I can't wait to get going.

Mood = Content
Food =  Delicious
Exercise = Walking and Talking

Today I am grateful for:

Relaxation
Laughter
Teddy Bears;o)

Happy Valentine's Day

Happy Valentine's Day to all my lovely Blogland friends.

My darling took me out for a Valentine meal last night after
a lovely day together.  So I feel I have been a little spoilt both
yesterday and today.
Again, I know you must be sick of hearing this, but I have never felt so loved.
This wonderful man is the one and only who has Really celebrated this day with me.

Here are a few photos of last night.....

Well the balloon and menu were taken this morning but they are from last night;o)

The food was Fabulous and they had a singer/pianist, who if you closed your eyes you would think

Michael Buble was serenading, he was great.  The photo's by the plane are a little dark, it was 10:30pm.

Ralph is going to take some daylight photo's of the hotel and the planes.  This hotel was the old Liverpool

Airport Building and it is very beautiful.  Very Art Deco.  I will post the photo's when we have them.

It was a delicious night that didn't end with the meal, all I will say is the HRT has kicked in and I am a

VERY HAPPY BUNNY....LoL

We are having a relaxing day today just enjoying being together.

I am truely blessed.

Hope you have having as good a day as me.

Looking For Scrapbooking Stuff URGENTLY

This is a call for help on a different topic from my usual.

I am a scrapbooker and I have hundreds of sheets of gorgeous papers, but none of what I am desperately looking for now.

Does anyone know of any papers, embellishments etc to do with medicine?
I am putting together a gift album for one of the doctors I work for. He is retiring next month so my time scale is pretty small.  I have been looking on line but not found anything as yet. So any leads would be most graciously received.

Thank you in advance;o)

My Walk

These are views of the Victorian Water Tower that dominates the skyline in my local area.  I am quite fond of the view that I have become acustomed to over the 32 years I have lived here in Runcorn.  This tower and Runcorn Bridge are favourite views of mine.

I had a glorious walk yesterday just under five miles and I enjoyed every step. The blue sky and the sunshine lifted my spirits greatly. I did a lot of thinking, praying and planning and when I got home I was elated.

Each of these photo's are taken from four different places each a mile apart from the next. I walked around a very large circle, up hill and down dale and I didn't have to stop once.  It used to kill me to walk up hill and I would be gasping for my breath.  Now I am comfortable walking at a fairly fast pace, breathing steadily and I am loving it. 

After my mind flip at the weekend and subsequent visit to the doctor, I did have a lot to think about and as I am now learning to talk to God during my daily life, the conversation we had yesterday has encouraged me on many fronts  He has given me the strength to voice some fears in work and my boss has been very understanding and set about finding answers for me. 

I am finding it easier to voice my thoughts and feeling now and it is such a surprise to me.  I have never had enough self belief throughout my life, but it is slowly coming now, better late than never I guess.

I am still not eating right, it is getting better, but I still have no appetite and it is not a good feeling. I slept a lot better last night, so I am hoping this means the HRT is kicking in.

My mood is hopeful.
I hope to be back in the groove soon.
Taking it slow and easy
but I am feeling positive.

Thank you for your kindness.

Weigh In Wednesday

Just a very brief note tonight after last nights ramblings.
Firstly can I thank everyone for the wonderful positive comments,
they mean so much to me right now.

I weighed in today and stayed the same, something
I am not surprised about at all.
I haven't been eating properly since Sunday
so there were bound to be repercussions.

I have had a good day today, I will post about it tomorrow. 
I went to see my Ollie in "Bugsy Malone" tonight a brilliant
production and of course I am very proud of my gorgeous grandson.
He looked so grown up in his gangster suit and trilby:o)

I am being scolded by my husband as it is way past bed time, so
night night, see you tomorrow.....

Guess Who's A Happy Bunny?

I went to the doctor's today, I couldn't get an appointment with my regular doctor. 
I saw a young woman doctor and I thought I was going to have a problem with her
and the symptoms I was attending with. Lack of sleep, nausea, aching joints, very dry skin,
emotional wreck, vaginal dryness TMI? sorry if it is but it is part of me and my problems.

I was on HRT for 21 years, yes 21 years, a long time.  I had a hysterectomy and my ovaries removed when I was 38 and commenced on HRT a week later. It became an intergral part of my life until last November.
It is recommended that HRT should only be taken for 10 years, but this recommendation is for women taking it at the onset of the menopause so my mam started her's age 52 so it is taken that I would have started around the same time. So I could have been on it for another couple of years from now.

I was advised to come off it a couple of years ago after having a breast cancer scare. (It turned out to be an abcess) The specialist went through all the figures and percentages and blinded me with numbers.  She advised dropping down to the lowest dose over six months then letting it go.  I begged, literally begged my gp to let me stay on it but he pulled the plug and my last patch was November.

Gradually since then the above mentioned symptoms have grown worse, culminating yesterday with me flipping good style. I really felt I was heading for a breakdown, I looked a total mess and felt even worse.
One of the doctors I work for asked me how I was and I just let it all go.  She was fabulous and gave me hope.  Suggesting asking my gp for the lower dose patch and I could cut it in half and see if it relieved the symptoms she has done this for patients who suffer menopausal migraine. My gp and the gp I work for are friends, she gave me a post in note with some relevant notes on to dicsuss. So armed with a little post it note I went to the doctors expecting a battle, I was called in by this young woman who I thought would not understand my problems.

Boy was I wrong!!  She was so sympathetic and understanding I was so lucky to get an appointment with this young woman.  I launched into the speech I had rehearsed in my head, not taking a breath and tears stinging my eyes.  She asked me a few questions and then said "It is all down to your quality of life isn't it?"
I nodded, this time the tears were falling.

She went on to tell me about her mum is 62 and had the same problems as me, only problem was her sister had breast cancer and so she told to stop the HRT.  She did and the problems arrived within days, after several months she could take it no more and went back to her gp and asked for HRT again.  Her doctor advised her against it, but she said I" have weighed the risk against my quality of life and would like to restart the HRT."  The gp gave her a prescription and here quality of life has improved 1000 fold. The gp said her whole family had seen the change in her mum and knew it was the right thing for her.

So she said to me it is up to you, you know the maths, you know your quality of life, if you want HRT and have no underlying health problems I will give you the prescription.  She also pointed out that breast cancer in later life tends not to be as aggressive as the form that attacks younger women.

So I now have HRT back and I am A Happy Bunny. I have to go to her for a check up every 6 months and she will discuss the risks and it will be up to me to assess wether to take the risk.  At this time in my life I am prepared to take the risk. My family are grown and not dependent on me.  I have a wonderful husband I want to enjoy. I have a life I want to live to the fullest. Since November my life has been faltering in several ways and I am happy that in a matter of days it should begin to improve in several ways.

There will be readers who will not agree with me, I respect your view but please respect mine and my life.

I think this is the longest post I have written but I beleive it is one of the most important too. I hope I haven't bored you rigid.

Good Night God Bless xx

Monday Already....

Why can't we have a "Hold" button on the weekend? It goes far too fast.

I have had a very nice weekend, not a great weekend but a nice one.
Physically not feeling right, this sleep thing is really getting me down now.
Lack of sleep in making me nauseous, one of my phobia's is fear of vomiting
so I'm very wary of eating right now.

My gorgeous grandson Oliver had a sleep over on Saturday night
 and it was a really good time.  It was a boys night, with the XBox,
but it was good to watch Ollie and Ralph having fun together.
Yesterday we were wanting to go for a walk but Ollie doesn't do walking...lol
He made several excuses, from:
his shoes were too small; his favourite baseball boots are a size smaller than he should be wearing.They need to go in the bin but he won't part with them.  His mum was the same as a child/teenager but yesterday denied all knowledge if trying to squeeze her size 5's into size 3's
He was on a rest day, he has been in heavy rehearsals for Bugsy Malone which goes on this afternoon and for three nights this week so i guess he deserved the rest day.
Walking is boring, he loves his bike so maybe walking is too slow for a whizz kid biker.... 
Hence we didn't go for a walk. 

My Ollie.

Monday morning finds me feeling drained and very sickly.

I must try to shake this yucky feeling off, I am not falling off

the wagon now. What does it take to get a decent nights sleep?

Look What I Got!! Look What I Got!!

I am totally gobsmacked and honoured both at the same time to have received

this most coverted award from

266

http://266-twosixtysix.blogspot.com/

I have seen it being given to fantastic bloggers as they have reach amazing milestones.

Now I have been awarded one and I am thrilled to say the least.

I have been slogging away for a long while now, I am a bit like a tortoise...slow....slow..slowly

getting to where I wish to be and now I see I am more than half way and it has give me such a boost.

THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH.

I have been eating differently this week, hoping to boost my weight loss and a sneak preview on the scales has got me hopeful. I have cut down on carbs and increased protein and lots of veggies.

I have finally got out walking again last night and boy did it feel good. Also been working out with the Wii.

Long may it continue.

This afternoon the weather has been wonderfully Springlike and it has lifted my spirits and that of my workmates and patients.  A little bit of sunshine and blue sky is such a tonic, it would be lovely if it continued over the weekend but the forcast is for cloudy but dry, ah well maybe this is the beginning of a seasonal improvement leading to pretty and sunny Springtime.

Talking of Spring, we are having a Spring clean in the kitchen tomorrow.  The shelves we bought on Monday from IKEA will be put up and yet again we will try to adapt the space. A long walk in the afternoon weather permitting. Then my gorgeous grandson Ollie is coming to sleep over.  So it will be an Pizza andXBox night for the "boys", as for me I will chill with a book and my Ipod after a delicious omlette.

Mood = Positive

Food =Positive

Today I am thankful for:

Spring Sunshine, it is such a tonic

Being appreciated in work by my boss, workmates and patients

The encouragement and enthusiasm of fabulous Blogfriends

Weigh-In-Wednesday

These Wednesday's come around so fast it is making me dizzy!!

I have just been checking out some favourite blogs and there seems to be a common thread connecting quite a few of them. A touch of disillusionment, a lot of tiredness, and the Umph!! has gone out of the window.
I reckon it is the time of year for some, it is nearly the end of the journey for others. There is a general malaise blanketing many weight loss blogs. I hope it doesn't last and nobody gets hurt falling of the track.

I strangely am just the opposite, I am enthusiastic about exercise and  food at the moment (long may it last)
The whole healthy lifestyle thing is buzzing fore me right now and I am feeling very good, physically, mentally and emotionally. (It's Scarey)

This week I have lost 2:5lbs and I am delighted, I am hopeful for the future and getting to my target if not before, most definately just after  my birthday.

Mood = Optimistic
Food =  Delicious

Today I am grateful for:

A cosy home, while it snows outside.(Again)
A painless back:o)
A postive joyful feeling.

Mad Monday!!!

What a whirlwind of a day it has been!
Work was CRAZY!!
I was so glad to get home, when I got in my dear Ralph asked if I would like to go to IKEA.
Really all I wanted to do was take my uniform off and chill after all the craziness of work.
But I knew he wanted to get some extra shelves to sort out the storage in the kitchen.
So I smiled nice and wifey and said "Yes Darling" as long as we have tea first.
So we had a very healthy meal of grilled trout, baby potatoes, broccolli,
cauliflower and carrots and I felt so angelic.  My food has been so good today.

So off to IKEA we went and it was very pleasant, Monday must be their quiet night.
We bought a few bits and bobs, got some inspration for my new craft shed,
did I tell you I was getting a new one? ;o)
I'm getting a bigger one and Ralph is having my old one..lol

After IKEA we called in to M&S and bought a few foodie treats,
don't panic, they are all calorie counted and extremely healthy....
These are no ordinary treats they are M&S treats. 
Little packs of veg that I love but Ralph doesn't all on offer.
Low calorie lemon mousse which is to die for....
I really could live out of M&S if the budget allowed.

We got back home and went on line to check out phones. 
I had remembered we are due for a free upgrade on our contract this month
and I am torn between a Blackberry and and Iphone.
We can't upgrade until 15th Feb so looking for feedback if anyone has any?

I came up with a title for my journal which the lovely BearFriend pointed out is not about the beginning of my sixth decade but my seventh!!!!  I was never that good at maths, thanks BearFriend you are getting a bear hug sometime soon :o)

It came to me in bed last night, whilst talking to my darling.  We do a review of our relationship every three months or so and last night was one of those occassions. I find it very healthy for our marriage to do this and it works so well.  I have always been the kind of person that bottles things up and then the silliest of things makes me blow up. 

Since being with Ralph this doesn't happen, outside of our relationship it may, but not within. I was trying to find the words to tell him how I feel now and couldn't. Telling him that I didn't feel I had to make an effort with him sounded wrong and I was tying myself up in knots with words. I just feel so right with him but couldn't tell him how.  Then I just blurted out "I am finally me!"  He knew exactly what I meant because he feels the same way.  We don't have to try, we don't have to behave in a certain way, we just have to be who we are with each other and it is right, so very right. 

Boy oh boy do I blether on...

So my journal will called "Finally Me"


Mood = Great
Food = Great

Today I am thankful for:

My job, manic or not I am grateful for it.
My home, it may be small but it is my haven.
M&S, a little indulgence now and again does you good.