Monday, 9 August 2010

Monday Morning

"I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best." Marilyn Monroe.
One of my friends had this as her Facebook status and it just got me.  I am so glad Ralph deserves me.

I have today at work and then I have four days holiday. I was going to stay with my eldest daughter and her family, but I am not now.  She cancelled a couple of weeks ago with a very hurtful note, not the best of times for her to throw me a hissy fit.  She does this every two or three years, lashing out with hurtful words. I try to rationalise it and after the initital hurt let it go. This time it has been different and I cannot leave her words on the paper.  They have burrowed deep into my heart and mind and they hurt like mad. I keep referring back to Marilyn's quote, to try to ease the pain. When Jen is here she is great, but she is a serviceman's wife and lives four hours away. She has issues as they say, when these isssues rear their ugly head, she takes it out on me. So I am hanging on to the quote as it says it all.

"I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle.
But if you can't handle me at my worst,
then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."
Marilyn Monroe.


cmoursler said...

I'm sorry She, does she know how down you've been lately?
Maybe you need to write your own note and let her know.
Big hugs to you.

Tina xx said...

Hi Sheilagh

I have a sister that behaves exactly like that. Everytime I try and get close, she has another attacking session. I have tried over the years, but sometimes you end up wondering why its always you that tries! I think perhaps you should write a note too, like the above lady said. Try not to let it get you down Sheilagh. I know exactly how you feel x

Baby Stepping said...

There's an old saying "when our children are little, they step on our feet. When they are older, they step on our hearts." I am so sorry that you are experiencing this right now. I hope your week gets better.


Tammy said...

I'm sorry to hear about the rift with your daughter...I hope she comes around to her senses're the only mother she'll ever have and she should be thankful that it's someone as wonderful as you. :) Catching up on your last few posts...glad to hear you're on some meds now..if you still don't feel like they're helping after a couple of more weeks, you might ask them to up the dosage. Do what you have to do until things feel right. :)

Sam said...

Oh I'm so sorry to hear about this - just what you don't need at the moment.

I hope that the siutation improves and that you are able to discuss the hurtful words with her instead of holding on to them so tightly - it won't do you any favours.

Look after yourself. You know where I am if you need to let off steam x

spunkysuzi said...

What a sad thing to happen when you are having a hard time!! I think the idea of a letter is a good one.
She'll get over it soon i'm sure.
Hope you have a good week.

Marie said...

Sorry to read about this problem you have with your daughter from time to time. My youngest daughter and I have a very difficult relationship. Most of the time she refuses to communicate with me at all. There is no rhyme or reason to it. I have never been able to understand why. Lately I have been getting the odd message from her though, and I am grateful for that. I think that the best thing we can do is to love them no matter what and trust that in time things will iron themselves out, even if it is very hurtful from time to time. Yesterday I was very sad as I had sussed out on Facebook that she is pregnant and she had not told me. Thankfully this morning I had a message from her telling me that she was indeed pregnant. I would have loved to have been told earlier, along with everyone else, but I am thankful for tender mercies wherever I find them. ((((hugs))))

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