Saturday, 26 June 2010

How Much STUFF Do We Need

When my darling and I got together, we came from broken relationships. Both of us left the homes we had both built over the years. We did not have the division of property senario that comes from divorce.

I left the home I had lived in for thirty years and moved into furnished rented accomodation. My heart, soul and mind were battered and material things were the last things on my mind.

My darling went to work in Saudi Arabia in 2004, to earn fabulous money to clear the debt's of his marriage. He came back to Britain a divorced man. Debt had just been a visible symptom of a broken relationship that did not survive the repair efforts.

When we got together, we were both working on clearing debts, both had realised that material things do not mean a thing. Both believing if you have love you have everything.

Forward to this week...

Here we are, in our little Shoebox which is approximately 50 feet by 14 feet. It has a living room, kitchen, bathroom and bedroom.  We have two sheds in the back garden, one being my craft shed. The Shoebox and the sheds are full to bursting, oh and we also have self storage 10 minutes from home.

The spat we had on Wednesday was about all the Stuff we have accumulated over the four years we have been together. It is taking over, suffocating us...So what happened???

We are very fortunate in that we now have no debt's and both have decent jobs and can both afford to buy within reason, anything that takes our fancy.  We have taken a fancy to far too much...

So a major declutter needs to be undertaken, I could open a shop with all the books and magazines, how many sets of bedding does one couple need?

How many cd's can one listen too, especially when you like silence?

85% of the stuff that is clogging up this house is due to me. I am trying to work through why I need so much stuff, I don't need it, but enjoyed buying it. 

Why did I enjoy buying it? 
Because I could!!

As a child I was Secondhand Rose, very rarely getting anything new.
As a young wife and mother, there was no money left for little luxuries or treat for me.
Four children in under five years and a low income saw to that and at the time it didn't matter.
As the children grew up there was never enough money. As was and is the case now with young families.
So now I am able to spend and buy whatever and it has gone crazily to the other extreme.

The pleasure of shopping and not having that knot in the pit of my stomach knowing I can't afford to buy, has been a real pleasure.  Now though it has made our home cluttered and uncomfortable.
So it stops here and it stops now.

I want space back in our home.
I want serenity back in our home.
I want  JOY back in our home.

There is so much love in this home that  JOY is wanting to dance.
JOY and dancing need the space, so I am off to clear the space.


cmoursler said...

oh hon, my mom was the same way too.
When she was raising us she was a single mom making 65 dollars a week in 1986.
She wore the same clothes for years..patched and the whole 9.
When she started making money she bought and bought.
This last trip home I commented on how there was so much less stuff in the house.
She said "i finally realized that I just didn't need it, it was too much to take care of."
You enjoyed you don't.
You wanted the freedom of buying. Now you want thte freedom of letting it go.
Such is life.
As for being tired.
It can't be too foreign. The way of life you choose has to fit YOU.
Maybe you aren't looking to be a size 6 and chew on flax see and oat bars while flexing your 13 inch bicep.
Maybe you just want to drop 30 lbs, walk three miles and enjoy your family.
Let the journey be enjoyable. Life is short.
Big hugs to you.

Marie said...

Sheilagh, I hear you loud and clear! I, too, need to declutter our home. It's so hard. Our recent move took us from a huge country cottage, to a much smaller townhouse in the city, and on top of it all we lost our total income and have now had to rely on benefits for everything until we can find new employment. A very rude awakening! However it has helped us to downsize and to have a rethink about all that is truly important in our lives. We have each other,our health, our faith and the rest is just the icing on the cake. How much icing does a cake really need? xxoo

anne h said...

It looks like you are getting right to the cause and effect of it all.
Very very good insights.

Anonymous said...


spunkysuzi said...

That is the exact reason why i'm spending my holidays de-cluttering/cleaning from top to bottom. Of course i maybe going out for lunch or dinners as well :) Got to keep up my strength.
We can both do it, and we will.

dawne said...

I've read that obesity issues and overspending, over wanting material things are related. It's an interesting connection.

We have purposely chosen to live with less, after living amongst the impoverished abroad. We really do live with too much, but it's so tempting in our society.

I love the choices you have made. Look at the travel you get to do...much better than living in a large house, which you just have to clean, I think.

Anonymous said...

:D Ditto what cmousler said! :D

Simplicity has always been a comfort to me--and as my life has gotten more hectic, I year for it more and more.

I don't have lots of material things (as long as you don't count books!), but it's other demands and involvements. I'm ready for that deep breath, you know?

I'm thinking now on how to fit that into a goal for my challenge, as a matter of fact. So glad you're joining in, by the way. And the prize can be shipped to UK, too! :D


Rettakat said...

I'm glad you were able to identify the cause of the problem, and that it's fixable. Even the tone of your post today sounds more peaceful and joyfilled. :-)