Friday, 9 July 2010

Yes it is/was me, I was considering suicide.
 I don't know why, I really don't.
There is no way I can explain my thinking or my actions.
I am sincerely sorry to have caused such concern.

Two doctors, one of my employers and my own gp.
 Have talked to me at length, yesterday and today.
Resulting in my being signed off work for initially two weeks and
have been prescribed antidepressants.

I am sincerely sorry for the pain and hurt I have caused my
darling husband and my dearest Trish.
My children are not aware of how low I have been and
I hope will never find out that I had seriously considered ending my life.

I am truly grateful for the love and concern I have felt, read and heard
of tonight. I will reply to all the emails as soon as I can but just want to say
thank you here, you all know who you are and you are very special.


anne h said...

Precious wonderful Sheilagh!
You don't owe anyone an apology.
Just take care of your self!
I'm glad you are here - glad we're friends!
It might *just* be virtual, but people still can care!

Rettakat said...

Hugs for you {{{{{Sheilagh}}}


Katie J said...

We love you Sheila - please take care.

spunkysuzi said...

Awww "hugs" sometimes we need to reach out to get help! And i know it's not easy to do. Since i've been where you were and i'm on anti-depressants right now i know it will get better. Anytime you want to vent please feel free to e-mail me.

cmoursler said...

I am relieved to hear from you. I am glad you caught yourself and are well enough to get help. Hugs to you. You know how to reach me.

F. McButter Pants said...

I missed the 1st post. Kind of glad I did. I would have worried about you while I was out of town. So glad you talked to someone and got some help. I hope you can find some pease in your little "artsy fartsy" shed. Maybe working, scrapping, will help you improve.

Bless your sweet hubs. Sweet Sheilagh....know you are loved. Cause I love ya!

dawne said...

Sheilagh, thank God you have found help! I am relieved that some medications have been prescribed and that you are relieved from your work duties for a little bit.

I can't wait for you to receive the Brennan Manning books. Pray the prayer he suggests in "The Furious Longing of God". I think it will be life changing for you lovely one.

Get well. xxxxxx

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

Sheilagh, You've put yourself under a lot of expectations. Even tho you have said that you've quit the weight loss goal, I wonder if the upcoming trip to the states might have added some "failure feelings" in the weight loss regard.

Sometimes when we feel that we've not mesured up, a kind of desparation and feeling overwhelmed settles in. One instinctively wants to escape that.

When it's not clearly identifed, but is just those vague panicky feelings and self-loathing, one can't use logic to talk oneself out of it. You don't know what you're fighting--what to talk youself through.

And, of course, it could be a physical cause, too. You've spoken to an MD, so I'm assuming blood work and other tests are being run to check out that cause.

You did the right thing. You spoke out what you were feeling. Many don't have the wherewithall to do that. Good job.

I'm sure you've been told this, but remember that anti-depression meds don't work instantly and can have some odd side-effects at first. Most of that wears off--like drowsiness, for instance.

Let yourself relax; take some of the pressure off of yourself. Change your FREEDOM Challenge goals to, "Treating yourself with kindness." :)

You are in my prayers.


accidental carer said...

Hey darlin I prescribe some laughing therapy for next weekend. From 10am Friday to 5pm Sunday. Requirements? You and me - thats all that is needed. Counting the minutes.....
I am also going to put a private jet on my wish list. I need to be able to get to you quickly. Cyber hugs are good but can't compete with the real thing.
Big hugs to Ralph -I thank God he is there with you. Love you more than I can express in words. See you Friday darlin xxxxxxxx

Sean Anderson said...

Much love coming over the pond to you my friend. I'm so glad you have people close, like your husband and others, that love and care for you. And thankful that you had the presence of mind to reach out for help---before...

You're wonderful my friend. Thank you...

Tina xx said...

(((hugs))) for you Sheila. I know exactly how you have been feeling. Have been there before. Im glad your getting help xxx

Anonymous said...


Buttercup said...

My dear Sheilagh,

Take very good care of yourself, you are dear to many people, including me! Sending love, hugs and prayers across the pond. So looking forward to seeing you in the autumn. So, so looking forward!

Tammy said...

Sheilagh!! Sis!!! Oh my dear God I feel so bad for being away...I had no idea...been so wrapped up in my own stupid stuff...I should have been here for you EVERY DAY and I might have caught how you were having such a hard time and could have lent a listening ear...I'm sitting here at work bawling at my desk!!!!! I could have lost you!! We all could have lost you!!!! OH my Heavens Sheilagh..please...don't ever be afraid to reach out to me if you're in such a tough spot again...seriously....I couldn't bear the thought of you leaving this world...I just couldn't bear it. You're just too important and you just mean too much to me. I love you so. Please....get better sis...please.